An Ode to the AidMama(toto): How a Photo Became a Song, a Song a Ceremony, A Ceremony a Movement
It started with a photo.
🌿 A song. A love letter. A ceremony.
I shared an image of myself holding my uterus in the AidMamas Facebook group—a moment both raw and surreal. After my recent cancer journey and full hysterectomy, I wrote that I planned to bury it in ceremony, returning it to the earth as part of my process of metabolizing suffering.
The response was immediate. Messages of love, support, and deep recognition poured in—from people I’ve never met, from those I may never meet. AidMamas from around the world, reminding me that we are all holding so much.
Burnout. Exhaustion. The relentless weight of caregiving, of service, of love.
And beyond that—the grief of these uncertain times.
Programs closing. Teams dismantled. Promises broken.
The quiet, heavy loss of those left behind.
It wasn’t just about my uterus.
It was about all of us—the ones who mother, in every sense of the word, whether or not we have children. The ones who keep showing up, even when we’re breaking.
So I wrote a poem (click to read it).
A love letter to AidMamas(toto)—to the ones who pump milk in cars between field visits, who whisper bedtime stories through reception-poor phone calls, who are leaving posts, carrying grief, or staying behind without a safety net.
That poem turned into song lyrics. And then, for the first time in my life—
I turned those lyrics into a multilingual song.
And suddenly, it was more than a song. It was a ceremony.
A ceremony of grief, resilience, and witnessing.
A ceremony of AidMamas tending to each other, metabolizing not just individual exhaustion but the collective weight of a world that asks too much of us.
And a ceremony is never just a ceremony.
It’s becoming a movement.
Because when one of us says, “I see you,” another exhales.
When one of us sings, another remembers themselves.
When we stop carrying it all alone, we create something new.
So, here it is.
My first-ever song—AidMama(toto): A Love Poem
Born from vulnerability.
Carried by a community of fierce, exhausted, loving people who keep showing up.
Held in ceremony, now becoming something bigger.
We see you. We hear you. You are not alone.
Aidmamas, we are never alone.
💛🎶 You can also listen by clicking below 🎶 💛
AidMama(toto) – A Love Song
LYRICS
(Verse 1)
To the ones who wake in the night, who soothe, who serve,
Holding the weight of love and the weight of the world.
To the ones raising children while raising the lost,
Fighting the systems, no matter the cost.
(Pre-Chorus)
Walking so carefully, whispers in air,
Carrying burdens that no one will bear.
Left to the silence, left in the dark,
Still finding ways to rekindle the spark.
(Chorus)
Oh, AidMama(toto), you carry the flame,
Holding the world while they’re calling your name.
You lean in, you reach out, you love through the pain,
Oh, AidMama(toto), you rise up again.
أنتِ النور في عتمة الليل، صوت من لا صوت له (Arabic: You are the light in the dark night, the voice of the voiceless.)
Verse 2 – For the Ones Pumping Milk in the Car
To the ones pumping milk in the back of a car,
Whispering love through static and scars.
Holding the phone like a prayer in the night,
Bringing it home, keeping love in sight.
(Pre-Chorus)
Freedom’s a whisper, a prayer in the night,
Stories kept safe in the cracks of the light.
Turning the burdens to something so strong,
Knowing this fight has been yours all along.
Les mères n'abandonnent jamais, même quand le monde s'effondre. (French: Mothers never give up, even when the world falls apart.)
(Chorus)
Oh, AidMama(toto), you carry the flame,
Holding the world while they’re calling your name.
You lean in, you reach out, you love through the pain,
Oh, AidMama(toto), you rise up again.
You are the light in the dark night, the voice of the voiceless.
Bridge 1 – For Those Who Mother in Unseen Ways
To the ones who mother in unseen ways,
Who love and hold in the quietest space.
Who have angel babies, who’ve chosen to stay,
Who nurture with love that won’t fade away.
Who do not have wombs, but hold just as tight,
Who raise and uplift, who guide with their light.
Because children need love, in all that we do,
Because mothering lives in the hearts that stay true.
(Chorus)
Oh, AidMama(toto), you carry the flame,
Segurando o mundo enquanto chamam seu nome. (Portuguese: Holding the world while they’re calling your name.)
Te inclinas, te acercas, amas en el dolor. (Spanish: You lean in, you reach out, you love through the pain.)
おお、アイドママ(トト)、あなたは再び立ち上がる。 (Japanese: Oh, AidMama(toto), you rise up again.)
Bridge 2 – For Those for Whom It Is Extra Hard
To the ones for whom love is an act of defiance,
Who carry their truth despite the silence.
Who are Black, Indigenous, queer, or unseen,
Who fight through the walls where the world’s never been.
To the ones whose strength is a whispered prayer,
Whose love survives in a world unfair.
Still, they stand, still, they rise,
Still, they love with unbroken ties.
(Final Chorus)
Oh, AidMama(toto), you carry the flame,
तुम दुनिया को संभालती हो, जबकि वे तुम्हें बुला रहे हैं। (Hindi: You hold the world while they’re calling your name.)
Ti inclini, ti avvicini, ami attraverso il dolore. (Italian: You lean in, you reach out, you love through the pain.)
ওহ, এইডমামা(টোটো), তুমি আবার উঠে দাঁড়াও। (Bengali: Oh, AidMama(toto), you rise up again.)
Oh, AidMama(toto), kin tashi sama da kowane ciwo. (Hausa: Oh, AidMama(toto), you rise up again.)
You are the light in the dark night, the voice of the voiceless.
(Outro)
And when the rupture feels too great to bear,
When no one remembers, when no one is there…
Lean in. Lean in. Lean into each other.
You are seen. You are heard. You are not alone.
Oh, AidMama(toto), you........
are never......
alone.
*MamaToto is a Kiswahili term meaning "motherbaby," emphasizing the deep interconnectedness between mother and child—what affects one affects the other.
This philosophy shapes my life as a single mother of three, a full-time PhD student, and a part-time aid worker. I am learning Kiswahili, drawing from my time living in East Africa, and co-raising my children with my best friend and former Dada from Tanzania, whom I sponsored, along with her daughter, to join us in Canada. Together, as two single AidMama(Totos), we support each other in caregiving, work, education and community, embodying the relational care at the heart of MamaToto.
