Special Series (Part 1) - The Room We’re In: Unpacking the Systems That Shape Us
PART 1: The Invisible Cage: How the System Shapes Our Lives
When we think about the challenges in our lives—burnout, stress, disconnection—it’s easy to blame ourselves. We tell ourselves we need to work harder, be more resilient, or find better strategies to manage the chaos. But what if the real problem isn’t us? What if the problem is the “room” we’re living in—the dominant systems and worldviews that shape our thoughts, habits, and lives without us even realizing it?
The dominant ontology—the worldview that frames what we see as “normal” or “right”—is like an invisible cage. It tells us to prioritize productivity over rest, individualism over community, and control over connection. Rooted in colonialism, capitalism, and patriarchy, this system conditions us to see ourselves as separate from others, from the Earth, and even from our own well-being. And yet, because it’s so pervasive, we rarely question it.
What Is the Room?
The “room” we’re in is built on the foundations of colonial modernity. It’s a system that thrives on separation—humans from nature, mind from body, individual from community. This separation isn’t just theoretical; it’s deeply embedded in our everyday lives.
For instance, consider how we value productivity. From the time we’re young, we’re taught that our worth is tied to how much we can achieve. Rest is seen as lazy, and asking for help is seen as weakness. These beliefs don’t come from nowhere—they are products of a system that values efficiency and extraction over care and connection.
This system also thrives on making us feel like the problem is personal. If we’re burned out, it’s because we need better time management. If we’re unhappy, it’s because we’re not practicing enough self-care. By focusing on individual solutions, the system distracts us from seeing its role in creating these problems in the first place.
How the System Hides Itself
One of the most insidious things about the dominant ontology is how it hides in plain sight. Because it shapes what we consider “normal,” we rarely question it. Hustle culture, self-reliance, and the constant push for self-improvement feel like personal choices, but they’re deeply rooted in colonial ways of being and knowing.
This is the invisible cage: a system that not only controls how we live but also convinces us that it’s the only way to live. It disconnects us from each other, isolates us in our struggles, and keeps us too busy or exhausted to imagine alternatives.
Recognizing the Cage
The first step to stepping out of the “room” is recognizing that it exists. Start by questioning the narratives you’ve internalized:
Why do I feel guilty when I rest?
Why do I measure my worth by my productivity?
Why do I feel like asking for help is a failure?
These questions can help you begin to see the invisible systems shaping your thoughts and actions. Recognizing the cage doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’re beginning to see what’s been hidden.
An Invitation
What if the struggles you face aren’t personal failures but symptoms of a system designed to keep you disconnected and exhausted? What if the problem isn’t you, but the room you’re in?
I invite you to reflect on the invisible cage in your own life. What beliefs or habits might be rooted in a system that doesn’t serve you? By beginning to question these patterns, we can start to imagine what life might look like beyond the cage—connected, relational, and free.
