From Dualism to Relationality: Redefining the Self in Healing Work

Our modern world often teaches us to think in binaries: mind versus body, self versus other, humans versus nature. These dualisms, deeply rooted in colonial modernity, shape how we understand ourselves and the world around us. While they may offer a sense of order, they also limit us, severing the interconnected relationships that sustain life and well-being.

In the context of trauma and healing, dualistic thinking often isolates individuals from the systems, histories, and relationships that shape their experiences. Healing becomes a process of “fixing” the self, disconnected from the broader web of life. But what if we moved beyond these binaries? What if we embraced relationality—a worldview that sees the self not as separate, but as deeply intertwined with others, the land, and the systems we inhabit?

The Harm of Dualistic Thinking

Dualism is a product of the dominant ontology, which frames existence as a series of oppositions: human versus nonhuman, individual versus collective, civilized versus primitive. These binaries have historically been used to justify colonization, exploitation, and systemic harm, creating hierarchies that devalue certain ways of being and knowing.

In trauma work, dualism often manifests as a disconnect between the mind and body. Trauma is treated as a problem in the brain or nervous system, while the relational and systemic dimensions of suffering are overlooked. This narrow focus not only limits our understanding of trauma but also isolates individuals, placing the burden of healing solely on their shoulders.

Relationality: A New Understanding of the Self

Relationality offers a powerful alternative to dualistic thinking. It teaches us that the self is not an isolated entity but a node in a vast web of relationships—with people, ecosystems, ancestors, and histories. From this perspective, healing is not just an individual journey; it’s a collective process of restoring connections and re-imagining relationships.

For example, many Indigenous and relational worldviews see the self as inseparable from the land. This understanding challenges the colonial notion of humans as masters of nature, instead framing the self as part of an interconnected system where the health of one impacts the health of all. By embracing this relational perspective, we can begin to see trauma not as an individual failing, but as a rupture in the web of relationships that sustain life.

Healing Through Relationality

Moving from dualism to relationality requires us to rethink how we approach healing. Instead of focusing solely on individual recovery, relational approaches emphasize the importance of collective care, mutual support, and systemic transformation.

This shift also invites us to question the systems that perpetuate trauma. How do colonial, capitalist, and patriarchal structures shape our experiences of disconnection? What would it look like to create systems that prioritize care, reciprocity, and relational well-being? Healing through relationality is not just about restoring balance within ourselves—it’s about re-imagining the systems and relationships that shape our lives.

An Invitation

What would it mean to see yourself not as separate, but as part of a vast web of relationships? How might your understanding of healing shift if it included not just personal growth, but the restoration of connections with others, the land, and the systems around you?

I invite you to explore these questions and to imagine what healing might look like from a relational perspective. Together, we can move beyond the binaries that divide us and embrace a vision of healing that honours connection, care, and interdependence. Let’s weave this web—together.